September 1, 2016
Another First Day of School
It’s the first day of school here in our little town. My oldest son is now a sixth grader. It’s his last first day of school at Roosevelt Elementary. It’s bittersweet. As I watched him walk his little brother to the grade lines, I felt the emotions welling up within me. I held it together, but for a small moment I had a flash to his first day of Kindergarten. I could remember this little boy walking into his classroom and finding his spot at the table. I also remember the tears I cried as I left the room, walking as fast as I could to my car, afraid that others would see me sobbing like an idiot. The drive to work was awful, I cried the entire 5 miles. How fast the time has gone by. My baby boy will soon be twelve years old.
My middle guy is now a first grader. He is my wild child, or “spirited” as they say now days. When I asked him several days ago if he was ready to go back to school, he responded with an emphatic “no.” School is just an annoyance for him right now. It interrupts with the busy job of playing all day long. Thankfully, his older brother was excited to go back and set a good example to follow. They both were anxious last night and I was surprised to see they both fell asleep on the same bunk in their room. These are images I never want to forget.
On the way to work I thought about how nervous they must be. A new year has begun with new classrooms, teachers and friends. They both were worried they wouldn’t have their best friends in their classrooms. I think said something along the lines of, “That’s okay, you’ll get to know the people that weren’t in your classes last year.” Of course, they don’t yet appreciate the opportunity to befriend new people and make new memories. I’m sure this will come in time.
Baby brother went off to daycare alone today. He was a little clingier than usual, but he loves his daycare provider very much. I’m grateful to have someone in his life that is practically a second mother. She knows his personality so well and cares for him as if he were her own child. That’s a rare gem to find in today’s world.
I’m getting sentimental now. I flash forward to the future when my baby boy goes to school. It will be here before I know it. Here’s to a new school year and appreciating every moment and making memories!
June 23, 2016
A Blog Revival
In the last few months I’ve thought long about whether I want to continue blogging. My instinct is to shut it down, pull the plug. I haven’t been a regular blogger in years. But my heart is sad when I think about ending this…whatever it is that’s left. I miss my blogger friends. I miss reading about their lives. I realize that others have lapsed, too. This is the thing about blogging, it’s all fun and games until life happens. And that’s okay.
I’ve had some realizations in the last few years, too. I’m thirty-seven years old. A mom of three boys. A wife to the love of my life for the last 15 years. Okay, not technically 15 until October but it feels like so long ago that we tied the knot. Time is precious. And it goes by so very fast.
I reflect on the last five years and it amazes me what I’ve accomplished. I worked full time. I attended college full time and finally graduated in December 2014. I struggled through a job that didn’t appreciate me and managed to score the job of my dreams after many heartbreaks and frustrations that made me think I wasn’t good enough. But I overcame all of it. This is still difficult for me to believe and acknowledge.
My children are growing by leaps and bounds. I am in denial about this. In my mind they are going to stay little forever. The will not grow up and leave me. It’s not right. Motherhood is not easy. It’s one of the greatest challenges I’ve ever faced. This is the longest job I’ve ever held and I still don’t know what I’m doing sometimes. There is no training for parenthood, but I must be doing some things right. They’re still alive, so there’s that.
One thing I miss since having a third baby is my free time. Don’t get me wrong, I love my kids and I’m grateful to spend time with them, but I’ve realized I am the default parent. I don’t have the luxury to get up and go anywhere sans children without advance planning, several reminders beginning five days ahead of time, and an exact return time. If I’m a minute late the boys will send out the search party. Yes, I’m including my husband as one of the boys. I really do feel like I have four children sometimes.
On another note, I wouldn’t trade this life for anything. I’m pretty lucky. I know things could always be worse. In the meantime, I’ll try to remember that my children will grow up and I’ll have plenty of free time. And I’ll probably blog about missing my kids. I can’t pull the plug just yet. Here’s to relighting the blog fire.
Posted by Dana 12:00 PM
• Blog Love
February 21, 2015
25 Weeks & Lots to Do
Tomorrow I am 25 weeks pregnant. More than halfway done. The second trimester has been much better than the first. I feel somewhat more energetic, but as I near the third (OMG, already!?) trimester I notice it’s a lot harder to focus on anything but my impending delivery date.
This morning I slept in until nine, and then decided to finally dig through the Rubbermaid totes in the basement. I needed to find the baby clothes I saved from when Owen was an infant. After nearly falling on my ass trying to get to the ones in the back (I stupidly stacked a wall of totes in our spare room a few years ago), I found three totes of baby stuff. Sorting through these clothes brought back so many memories of when Dawson and Owen were babies. I was misty-eyed as I remembered each baby wearing certain outfits. Then I started crying. I wish my kids could stay little for longer. I wish I could somehow freeze time. It’s inevitable that they grow up. I just feel like it all happened so fast.
I now have several loads of laundry to do, and I’m hoping to find the energy to sort through everything by size and season. It’s too early to be nesting, but I feel like I need to get organized now. There is so much to do. The boys are sharing a room right now, and the crib is still in their room. I really need to get the Huz to help me move them down stairs to the bigger bedroom. But first, the room needs a fresh coat of paint and new carpet. It’s too cold to start this project now, and we’ll need to open a window so the fumes escape. Ugh. I’m tired just thinking about it.
Baby G will be here before I know it. I better start making a to-do list.
Posted by Dana 1:36 PM
January 11, 2015
New Year 2015
The year is off to a great start. I have to be honest. I am glad that 2014 is over, only because it was such a crazy year.
I graduated with a Bachelor of Arts in Business Administration on December 31. I cannot tell you how happy I am to be done. I’m relieved that I made it through. The last four years have been chaos. Working full time, raising two kids and maintaining a marriage, all the while studying to pass my courses and exams has been a challenge. I did it, and I’m proud of my accomplishment.
The Huz and I received a surprise in early October when I discovered I was pregnant. It was a shock. How was I going to manage work, school and family life while dealing with morning sickness and exhaustion? Now that I’ve made it through, I’m so excited to have another baby. I’m due in June and it’s been a very different pregnancy than my first two. I suffered through 12 weeks of morning sickness, endured painful leg cramps in the middle of the night, and could barely eat anything if it smelled even slightly disgusting. I’m finally feeling better and I’m 19 weeks along. Almost halfway through it!
My doctor has been wonderful, however there have been a few concerns regarding my age (soon to be 36), my blood pressure (I had preeclampsia in my first pregnancy resulting in early induction and delivery) and weight (it’s recommended I gain less than 20 pounds and I’m nervous about this). Overall I feel okay, other than the exhaustion and occasional headache.
The boys are enjoying school and I’m so proud of them. Dawson is an avid reader and he recently read The Hunger Games. I’m impressed because I couldn’t get through it myself. I feel like I need to catch up to him. He’s only in 4th grade but he loves to read and that makes me happy. He still struggles in math but I make sure he practices his facts using Reflex Math and he seems to enjoy the games on the website.
Owen is in 4K and he is super smart. He always impresses me with his memorization of nursery rhymes. His favorites are Georgie Porgie and Baa Baa Black Sheep. It’s super cute to hear him say them and I love how proud he is when I tell him he did a great job. His teacher tells me he is sweet and plays with the other kids so well. He’s got a super fun personality and think that’s why he draws attention from other kids.
My job is going pretty well. It’s been so busy the last few weeks. We had some time off around the Christmas holiday and I think I’m still catching up. I’m just focusing on what I need to get done and looking forward to other opportunities in the future, now that I’ve earned my degree.
So far we’ve had a great few weeks in the New Year. One of my resolutions was to make it to church every Sunday. Last fall I missed several weeks because of morning sickness and feeling exhausted. It’s hard to juggle everything, but we are surviving. That’s all I can ask for.
I’ve got so much I want to document on this blog. I’ll stop for now or I’ll just keep rambling. Happy New Year!