January 30, 2017
A quick check in…
One month into 2017 and my world is still hectic as ever. I am often pulled in many directions, at the mercy of my children’s schedules. I feel guilty for not having time to myself and guiltier when I actually do something I love.
Take reading a book, for example. My To-Read list on Goodreads is growing longer. I checked out three books from the library at the beginning of the month and finished not one of them. In fact, I read the same chapter four times in the first book. Interruptions by children, chores, telephones and Facebook make it nearly impossible.
Oh, Facebook. I so want to quit social media. But this is the only way I keep in touch with the busy people I love. I feel this intense need for privacy, and yet, when I don’t log in for a few days, I come back to countless messages and comments. And I learn that I’ve missed a lot of stuff in the lives of my friends. Ack. So, I’m stuck with it for a little longer, I suppose.
Work is going wonderfully. I love my new job, even though I’ve worked here a mere nine months, it feels like longer. I was elated when I finally passed my first two certifications in December. It was the greatest feeling to know that I can do this.
The boys are doing well, too. D is in Boy Scouts, O in Cub Scouts and Little G just tags along with us. Both boys are also playing basketball on Saturday mornings, so I spend a lot of time in the car transporting everyone to where they need to be.
I can’t believe the school year is half over. My sixth grader is enjoying his last year of elementary. He’s excited and nervous about junior high. I am in awe of my soon-to-be seventh grader. His teacher shared during our parent-teacher conference that he’s the most organized kid she knows, and he has the cleanest desk in the class, with everything neatly in its place. That made me chuckle. He may have a touch of OCD, like his mom, but even I wasn’t ever that organized.
My middle guy is loving first grade. His teacher was on maternity leave for most of the first semester, but she has since returned and the kids are far less agitated. Their substitute teacher was significantly older (pretty sure she’s my mother’s age) and had more “old school” styles of teaching. The kids in the classroom weren’t really receptive to these methods. And she yelled a lot, according to O.
And then there’s my baby…he’s 20 months old now. I cannot believe he’s nearly two! He’s beginning to talk more. Last week he learned the words ‘sock’ and ‘taco’ and he put two words together to say “puppy sleep.” Love that little boy so much. This is definitely the fun age.
Well, I only had a few minutes to post this update. But I’ll be back tomorrow.
September 1, 2016
Another First Day of School
It’s the first day of school here in our little town. My oldest son is now a sixth grader. It’s his last first day of school at Roosevelt Elementary. It’s bittersweet. As I watched him walk his little brother to the grade lines, I felt the emotions welling up within me. I held it together, but for a small moment I had a flash to his first day of Kindergarten. I could remember this little boy walking into his classroom and finding his spot at the table. I also remember the tears I cried as I left the room, walking as fast as I could to my car, afraid that others would see me sobbing like an idiot. The drive to work was awful, I cried the entire 5 miles. How fast the time has gone by. My baby boy will soon be twelve years old.
My middle guy is now a first grader. He is my wild child, or “spirited” as they say now days. When I asked him several days ago if he was ready to go back to school, he responded with an emphatic “no.” School is just an annoyance for him right now. It interrupts with the busy job of playing all day long. Thankfully, his older brother was excited to go back and set a good example to follow. They both were anxious last night and I was surprised to see they both fell asleep on the same bunk in their room. These are images I never want to forget.
On the way to work I thought about how nervous they must be. A new year has begun with new classrooms, teachers and friends. They both were worried they wouldn’t have their best friends in their classrooms. I think said something along the lines of, “That’s okay, you’ll get to know the people that weren’t in your classes last year.” Of course, they don’t yet appreciate the opportunity to befriend new people and make new memories. I’m sure this will come in time.
Baby brother went off to daycare alone today. He was a little clingier than usual, but he loves his daycare provider very much. I’m grateful to have someone in his life that is practically a second mother. She knows his personality so well and cares for him as if he were her own child. That’s a rare gem to find in today’s world.
I’m getting sentimental now. I flash forward to the future when my baby boy goes to school. It will be here before I know it. Here’s to a new school year and appreciating every moment and making memories!
June 23, 2016
A Blog Revival
In the last few months I’ve thought long about whether I want to continue blogging. My instinct is to shut it down, pull the plug. I haven’t been a regular blogger in years. But my heart is sad when I think about ending this…whatever it is that’s left. I miss my blogger friends. I miss reading about their lives. I realize that others have lapsed, too. This is the thing about blogging, it’s all fun and games until life happens. And that’s okay.
I’ve had some realizations in the last few years, too. I’m thirty-seven years old. A mom of three boys. A wife to the love of my life for the last 15 years. Okay, not technically 15 until October but it feels like so long ago that we tied the knot. Time is precious. And it goes by so very fast.
I reflect on the last five years and it amazes me what I’ve accomplished. I worked full time. I attended college full time and finally graduated in December 2014. I struggled through a job that didn’t appreciate me and managed to score the job of my dreams after many heartbreaks and frustrations that made me think I wasn’t good enough. But I overcame all of it. This is still difficult for me to believe and acknowledge.
My children are growing by leaps and bounds. I am in denial about this. In my mind they are going to stay little forever. The will not grow up and leave me. It’s not right. Motherhood is not easy. It’s one of the greatest challenges I’ve ever faced. This is the longest job I’ve ever held and I still don’t know what I’m doing sometimes. There is no training for parenthood, but I must be doing some things right. They’re still alive, so there’s that.
One thing I miss since having a third baby is my free time. Don’t get me wrong, I love my kids and I’m grateful to spend time with them, but I’ve realized I am the default parent. I don’t have the luxury to get up and go anywhere sans children without advance planning, several reminders beginning five days ahead of time, and an exact return time. If I’m a minute late the boys will send out the search party. Yes, I’m including my husband as one of the boys. I really do feel like I have four children sometimes.
On another note, I wouldn’t trade this life for anything. I’m pretty lucky. I know things could always be worse. In the meantime, I’ll try to remember that my children will grow up and I’ll have plenty of free time. And I’ll probably blog about missing my kids. I can’t pull the plug just yet. Here’s to relighting the blog fire.
Posted by Dana 12:00 PM
• Blog Love
February 21, 2015
25 Weeks & Lots to Do
Tomorrow I am 25 weeks pregnant. More than halfway done. The second trimester has been much better than the first. I feel somewhat more energetic, but as I near the third (OMG, already!?) trimester I notice it’s a lot harder to focus on anything but my impending delivery date.
This morning I slept in until nine, and then decided to finally dig through the Rubbermaid totes in the basement. I needed to find the baby clothes I saved from when Owen was an infant. After nearly falling on my ass trying to get to the ones in the back (I stupidly stacked a wall of totes in our spare room a few years ago), I found three totes of baby stuff. Sorting through these clothes brought back so many memories of when Dawson and Owen were babies. I was misty-eyed as I remembered each baby wearing certain outfits. Then I started crying. I wish my kids could stay little for longer. I wish I could somehow freeze time. It’s inevitable that they grow up. I just feel like it all happened so fast.
I now have several loads of laundry to do, and I’m hoping to find the energy to sort through everything by size and season. It’s too early to be nesting, but I feel like I need to get organized now. There is so much to do. The boys are sharing a room right now, and the crib is still in their room. I really need to get the Huz to help me move them down stairs to the bigger bedroom. But first, the room needs a fresh coat of paint and new carpet. It’s too cold to start this project now, and we’ll need to open a window so the fumes escape. Ugh. I’m tired just thinking about it.
Baby G will be here before I know it. I better start making a to-do list.
Posted by Dana 1:36 PM